Applications and butterflies

Hello again,

I have made some progress on my journey towards Spain!  I'm both excited and terrified of this huge upcoming change.  I know deep down that it is what I want to do and that having an adventure is exactly what the doctor ordered.  I've been praying about this and talking with a lot of people close to me and everyone seems to also think that it would be a wonderful learning and growing experience.  It's also terrifyingly outside of my comfort zone.

Some reasons for what makes me feel nervous:
-I will likely not get into the teaching assistant program and will have to go to "plan B" which at this point means TEFL.
-Nala will need a temporary home (my cat is seriously the sweetest kitty ever.  she gives kisses!)
-I'll know no one in Spain.  I've got a friend of a friend in Madrid but that's it.
-If I do the TEFL class, I'll be sweating it out for a bit hoping to get a job for 6 months...which is much harder for non EU members.
-The longest I've been away is 4 months (a semester) and being away all by myself for 6-8 feels terrifying.
-Will I make friends fast and have a social group?  I assume I could meet people easily but the question is how.  Outside of my TEFL classmates, I'm not really sure.
-One way plane ticket anyone?  I'm sort of unsure of buying a one way ticket.  It will cost more and it's nervewracking to have no idea when I'm coming home.

So you can see that there are many unknowns and I know that for me, unknowns are always really scary.  It will be a journey and is one that I really feel like I want to take, but now that it's getting close to the time in terms of making set plans, I'm scared.  The quote "don't get scared now!" from Home Alone is becoming my mantra.  It's things that scares us that make us grow and growing is important.  I remember being super nervous to go to Oaxaca because I'd never been away from home for so long and didn't know what it would be like.  But then I was going with a prof and several PLU/UPS classmates!  Now I'm talking about going all alone to a place where I don't know a soul and it's very intimidating.  I foresee it as being something that I'd be very glad I did in the long run but that would be very difficult to begin.  I know it will be a tearful goodbye but that it will be really rewarding and an amazing experience.

Today I spoke with someone at TEFL International which is one of the agencies I applied with.  He was very helpful and very honest.  I appreciated this but also am afraid I may have to rework my original plans.  This is not the end of the world but I had been hoping to do some traveling with Meredith and Megan before starting my class in Spain.  Now that may not be possible.  Basically, my plan was to take the class in Sept.  This is an option but it is more likely that I would get a job if I take the class in Aug.  I had not thought of that as I was thinking taking it Sept. would be fine.  So there are a lot of decisions to make and I will make them soon enough.  This is all so exciting and scary all at once!  I'm having to keep reminding myself that it's not forever and that it won't be a super long time I'm gone in the long run.  It's just not in my character to do something like this.  However, a friend of mine told me not to let fear govern my decisions and I think he was right.  Ralph Waldo Emerson said the same, "It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'always do what you are afraid to do'".  I think these words along with "don't get scared now!" shall be my mantra.